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Enhancing Communication in Marriage

In marriages, many arguments and hurtyour spouse is talking to think about other
feelings can be traced back to communicationthings unrelated to the conversation;* Tuning
problems. It's not unusual for spouses toyour spouse out because you've heard the same
stay in a continual state of frustration,thing repeatedly and are convinced it's the
feeling misunderstood andsame old speech;* Becoming defensive and
unappreciated.Unexpressed feelings can pileangry immediately instead of showing your
up  and  poison  the  relationship.partner the respect of hearing him/her out;*
Belittling your spouse, name calling,
When you repress your anger, it will alwayscursing, shaking or pointing a finger, or
come out later, usually after something minorgetting in his/ her face.* Interrupting your
has upset you.You may find that it'spartner before he/she is finished talking.It
difficult to have a complete conversationhas been said that for every minute you are
without you or your spouse leaving the roomangry with someone, you lose sixty seconds of
before the conflict is resolved. Thehappiness that you can never get back. It
emotional buttons that your spouse pushes injust makes good sense to do everything you
you can make you want to bolt and get awaycan to preserve the good will and intimacy of
from your uncomfortable feelings andyour marriage when conflict, anger, hurt
reactions.Learning to communicate morefeelings, and disagreements occur.If you
effectively with your spouse requires thattruly love your partner, you will not want to
you be fully present and attentive. You haverip him/her to shreds verbally, or to ignore
to be committed to really listening andor discount differing opinions and beliefs.
hearing, not only with your ears but alsoYou will want to do everything you can to
with your heart. You want to eliminate anyinsure that you have quality communication in
communication blocks that prevent you andyour relationship and that you are
your partner from growing in understandingcommunicating your caring, love, and respect
and intimacy.Communication blocks areto your spouseEleanor Roosevelt once said,
anything that you do, verbally or"The most important thing in any relationship
non-verbally, to keep you from connectingis not what you get but what you give." While
deeply with another person. Some examples ofyou cannot control how someone else will
communication blocks in marriage are:*react to your efforts, you can commit to
Rolling your eyes and looking resigned ordoing all you can to create a safe
exasperated when your spouse is talking;*environment where intimacy can
Sighing deeply and loudly when your spouse isflourish.------------------------------------
sharing his/her viewpoint;* Looking at your----------------------------Nancy J. Wasson,
watch or a clock repeatedly;* Not stoppingPh.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage:
what you're doing when your spouse is tryingWhat to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't
to have a serious talk with you;* Not makinglove you anymore!" The e-book is available at
eye contact and not giving your partner your, where you can also sign up for the free
undivided attention;* Using the time whenKeep Your Marriage Internet Magazine.



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