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Enhancing Communication in Marriage

In marriages, many arguments and hurtthings unrelated to the conversation;*
feelings can be traced back toTuning your spouse out because you've
communication problems. It's not unusualheard the same thing repeatedly and are
for spouses to stay in a continual stateconvinced it's the same old speech;*
of frustration, feeling misunderstoodBecoming defensive and angry immediately
and unappreciated.Unexpressed feelingsinstead of showing your partner the
can pile up and poison the relationship.respect of hearing him/her out;*
Belittling your spouse, name calling,
When you repress your anger, it willcursing, shaking or pointing a finger,
always come out later, usually afteror getting in his/ her face.*
something minor has upset you.You mayInterrupting your partner before he/she
find that it's difficult to have ais finished talking.It has been said
complete conversation without you orthat for every minute you are angry with
your spouse leaving the room before thesomeone, you lose sixty seconds of
conflict is resolved. The emotionalhappiness that you can never get back.
buttons that your spouse pushes in youIt just makes good sense to do
can make you want to bolt and get awayeverything you can to preserve the good
from your uncomfortable feelings andwill and intimacy of your marriage when
reactions.Learning to communicate moreconflict, anger, hurt feelings, and
effectively with your spouse requiresdisagreements occur.If you truly love
that you be fully present and attentive.your partner, you will not want to rip
You have to be committed to reallyhim/her to shreds verbally, or to ignore
listening and hearing, not only withor discount differing opinions and
your ears but also with your heart. Youbeliefs. You will want to do everything
want to eliminate any communicationyou can to insure that you have quality
blocks that prevent you and your partnercommunication in your relationship and
from growing in understanding andthat you are communicating your caring,
intimacy.Communication blocks arelove, and respect to your spouseEleanor
anything that you do, verbally orRoosevelt once said, "The most important
non-verbally, to keep you fromthing in any relationship is not what
connecting deeply with another person.you get but what you give." While you
Some examples of communication blocks incannot control how someone else will
marriage are:* Rolling your eyes andreact to your efforts, you can commit to
looking resigned or exasperated whendoing all you can to create a safe
your spouse is talking;* Sighing deeplyenvironment where intimacy can
and loudly when your spouse is sharingflourish.-------------------------------
his/her viewpoint;* Looking at your---------------------------------Nancy
watch or a clock repeatedly;* NotJ. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep
stopping what you're doing when yourYour Marriage: What to Do When Your
spouse is trying to have a serious talkSpouse Says "I don't love you anymore!"
with you;* Not making eye contact andThe e-book is available at , where you
not giving your partner your undividedcan also sign up for the free Keep Your
attention;* Using the time when yourMarriage Internet Magazine.
spouse is talking to think about other



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