| He always looks perfectly put together. He can be in a | | | | * who makes decisions about where to go, etc. |
| t-shirt and jeans or heading out to a black-tie event. His | | | | * What are the expectations at the end of the date |
| hair never has a bad day. His nails are clean and | | | | * how soon should we become intimateWomen |
| buffed. His clothes are perfectly pressed and | | | | comment on:* his lack of initiative in calling or asking her |
| exquisitely coordinated. He smells like flowers and | | | | out |
| spice. Is he gay? No, he's the new metrosexual | | | | * his expectation that they will go dutch |
| man.As many of you know by now, the term | | | | * how he never offers to pick her up |
| "metrosexual" was coined by a journalist (and gay | | | | * his overall lack of assertiveness |
| man) named Mark Simpson, to describe a new kind of | | | | * his saying he will call, but not following through |
| urban male who is straight, but in touch with his | | | | * his too polished style which lacks a certain spark of |
| feminine side and not afraid to show it. Essentially, | | | | masculinity |
| metrosexuals are guys who take on behaviors and | | | | * his taking longer to get ready than she does |
| show an interest in things that have traditionally | | | | * his crudeness or over aggressive style |
| belonged in the female domain.You may have a | | | | * his expectation that they will have sexMen ask |
| metrosexual brother, male friend or boyfriend (ex). | | | | questions such as:* what do women want |
| These are the guys you can shop till you drop with. | | | | * why should a guy have to ask a girl out |
| They can discuss fashion, will notice your great new | | | | * why should the guy always pay |
| shoes, buy their grooming products from the same | | | | * why do women say they want sensitivity, etc., but |
| places you do and have no qualms about having a | | | | see guys like that as wimps |
| manicure, pedicure or facial. You can actually TALK to | | | | * why do women give out such mixed signals in |
| these guys about something other than sports, cars | | | | general |
| and other traditionally male interests. These are the | | | | * why do women seem to reject nice guys and go |
| guys you can take to the opera, symphony and ballet. | | | | for jerks |
| The perfect man, right? Depends on whom you talk | | | | * why can't a woman be the aggressorMen |
| to.Let's step back a minute and look at the where and | | | | comment on:* women acting spoiled |
| how of the existence of the metrosexual man. Simply | | | | * women wanting their independence, etc. but not |
| put, he is a by-product of feminism and the changing | | | | wanting equal responsibility and weight |
| roles and related expectations of women. As women | | | | * women expecting a lot from men, but offering little in |
| have moved into (previously) male dominated | | | | return |
| environments and roles, it has caused a shift in the | | | | * women not knowing what they want |
| male-female balance. Women are now active | | | | * women playing games |
| participants in industry, politics and the professions- to | | | | * women's attraction to "bad boys"Both women and |
| name a few. However, as they have left their old jobs | | | | men verbalize that they are ok with the current roles |
| as homemakers and full-time domestic caregivers, | | | | that have evolved for them in our society, yet I hear |
| they left a lot of empty space to be filled. Childcare | | | | both talk wistfully about how it was in previous |
| providers and the domestic cleaning industry could | | | | generations. Back then; everyone KNEW what was |
| provide some of this. The problem was all the "other" | | | | expected from him or her. Life was predictable. Dating |
| stuff women had always done.Men were therefore | | | | was much simpler and "safer". Men were men and |
| called upon to contribute more to the raising of children, | | | | women were raised to be wives and homemakers. |
| housework, cooking, shopping, etc. Their sons were | | | | We have gained something and we have lost |
| being exposed a new role model, a dad who took on | | | | something. One thing for sure, we can never have it |
| jobs and chores that had traditionally belonged to mom. | | | | both ways.What's the answer? It is never simple. |
| Young boys themselves were also being tapped to do | | | | However, it does involve better communication in |
| housework and help with siblings, exposing them to a | | | | general between men and women. Singles need to |
| new way of being a male in our society. Women had | | | | clarify for themselves (first), what kind of partner they |
| become more independent and financially and | | | | seek and what their expectations from a relationship |
| professionally successful. Men had become more | | | | really are. Once a person is clear about what they |
| domestic and had to soften their style as they moved | | | | must have and what they can't live with, they need to |
| into more traditionally feminine roles.A new social order | | | | go out and HONESTLY seek that. Knowing what you |
| had evolved that worked for everyone, right? Not | | | | want is good. If you turn off someone by your |
| necessarily. We never take on something new without | | | | frankness, he/she was not the someone for you.So, |
| giving something up. So, what has been discarded? | | | | begin with a self-assessment. Then go out and pursue |
| Clearly defined social roles and the expectations that | | | | interests and environments, which maximize your |
| come with them- for starters. Suddenly there was a | | | | chances of meeting compatible singles. And |
| new blueprint for how men and women should relate- | | | | remember, there is no perfect person. He may be |
| especially in the world of dating. However, it was | | | | overly fussy with his hair, take longer in the bathroom |
| unclear and depending upon whom you asked, you | | | | than most women, be less ambitious in his work life |
| would get a different answer. Usher in the confusion | | | | than you are and put your cooking to shame. |
| and frustration surrounding dating in the new | | | | However, if he's sensitive to YOUR needs, easy to |
| millennium.Women ask questions such as:* who asks | | | | talk to and fun to be with, great with kids and very |
| who out | | | | supportive of your goals, he may be the guy of your |
| * who calls who | | | | dreams. |
| * who pays | | | | |