| Good Communication Skills are essentialBeing an | | | | the assumptions you think other people make about |
| effective communicator takes real skill. Communication | | | | you.Assumptions aren't necessarily 'bad'. Sometimes |
| skills have to be developed, honed and added to on an | | | | it's important to let people keep their assumptions (or |
| on-going basis. They are the heart of interpersonal | | | | some of them at least!) about you.One effective way |
| skills and the greater your awareness of how it all | | | | to deal with assumptions is to say to the other person, |
| works, the more effective your communication will | | | | 'I've assumed such and such. 'Is that true?' or 'I'm |
| be.To be effective in business, you have to | | | | making an assumption here about... Do you |
| communicate well. To be a good manager, you have | | | | agree?'Good communication in the workplace is often |
| to communicate exceptionally well.Here we look at | | | | sabotaged by too many unconfirmed |
| basic communication dynamics, learning skills to | | | | assumptions.Patterns/Reverting to TypeWe are |
| improve your communication, using effective | | | | pattern-making beings, which is good. However, |
| communication to improve and promote interpersonal | | | | sometimes we get so used to behaving and |
| relationships, creating an effective communication | | | | responding in certain ways that it's hard to see that |
| strategy.We could write a book about the importance | | | | there's any other way of doing things. When the |
| of communication key skills, but for now you can | | | | pressure is on or we are under stress, even our best |
| content yourself with some essentials for becoming a | | | | intentions may go out the window as we revert to |
| more effective communicator.Communication Core | | | | type.Habits, patterns, routine ways of thinking and |
| Skills - The EssentialsCommunication is IndividualWe're | | | | behaving are difficult to change. Noticing your patterns |
| Not All The SameWhen you look at communication, | | | | at least gets you aware of them! One way to practise |
| presentation skills are not all there is to it. Far from it. | | | | this is to see how many communication habits and |
| Everyone communicates differently and sees the | | | | patterns have crept into your workplace. Try not to |
| world differently. The greatest skill you can have in | | | | judge them. You can always decide if you want to |
| order to instantly and significantly improve you | | | | change them or not.Needing to Be RightThis is one |
| communications skills is to understand the other | | | | area we all know about - the need to be right and in |
| person's point view and how they see the world. Then | | | | turn for the other person to be wrong. One skill that |
| you can adjust your own communication to take that | | | | does need practise is to let go of needing to be right. |
| into account.Change Yourself to Change | | | | Think of it as presenting information or a point of view |
| OthersAlongside this has to be the knowledge that the | | | | rather than having to bludgeon someone else with your |
| only person you can be sure of changing in any | | | | arguments.If you want to promote effective |
| communication is you. Therefore, the most effective | | | | relationships, this is one of the greatest communication |
| way to be in charge of what happens in any | | | | key skills you can have is to be able to change what |
| communication dynamic is changing what you do. | | | | you want from a communication. You may have |
| When you can do this you are well on the way to | | | | started out wanting the other person to agree with |
| promoting better relationships.You are the Only One of | | | | you, but by giving that up you can change your want |
| YouThere's never one right way to communicate. | | | | to letting them know you understand their point of |
| Authentic effective communication always happens | | | | view.Conflict ResolutionConflictOne of the purposes of |
| when we reply on those things we know to be true | | | | conflict is to arrive at a resolution, so if you avoid |
| about or for ourselves. Remember your personal style | | | | conflict, the problem usually (though not always) gets |
| probably says more for you that all the words you use | | | | worse. The earlier you can identify that there is a |
| can.What's Already Working?Most people tend to look | | | | problem and intervene, the better it will be. Good |
| at what's wrong with themselves and other people | | | | communication skills require you to be able to resolve |
| rather than focusing on what already works. | | | | conflict.AgreementFind something (anything will do) in |
| Remember, something (more than one thing, of | | | | the other person's argument which you can genuinely |
| course) has to be working well for you to have got | | | | agree with. This is a great way to take the wind out of |
| this far already!How Communication HappensVerbal | | | | someone's sails and ensure you don't get drawn into |
| and Non-Verbal CommunicationInterpersonal skills. | | | | an insoluble argument. People usually won't listen until |
| Everything communicates. Remember! If you aren't | | | | they feel heard.Bridge BuildingReally listen to what the |
| clear about what you mean and what your intention is, | | | | other person is saying - they usually give a lot of |
| the other person (or people) could easily (and | | | | information without realising it. Building bridges by |
| sometimes deliberately), misinterpret what you | | | | making an offer can help enormously, as can changing |
| mean.What you do matters as much as what you | | | | what you want.'I' not 'You'Use 'I' statements, not 'You' |
| say. It's now accepted that the words account for only | | | | statements to avoid blaming. This also means that you |
| 7-11% of a communication. Your behaviour will 'read' | | | | take responsibility for how you feel, rather than making |
| unconsciously to other people and you can certainly be | | | | the other person responsible for making things all right |
| more in charge of the reading matter!Language is one | | | | for you.Improving Communication SkillsBe a Good |
| of the most powerful reflections of how we think and | | | | InfluenceAttitudeYou can change the direction of a |
| feel about ourselves and others. You need to be | | | | communication if you change your attitude. There is no |
| aware of the padding, justifications and excuses you | | | | one attitude that's the 'right' one to have, though being |
| use and whether they are appropriate. You can make | | | | direct and clear certainly helps.Effective Listening and |
| a big impact simply by changing some of your | | | | RespondingYou can have tremendous influence on a |
| language and developing your verbal skills, This way | | | | communication as the listener and the responder. |
| you can significantly improve your communication | | | | When we get little or no response from the listener, |
| skills.Communication CycleThere is a neat | | | | we often project our assumptions onto them about |
| communication cycle we've come across that can | | | | what they are thinking (and usually we assume they |
| help you understand how to make communication | | | | aren't thinking good things about us!).Be PositiveUse |
| work better. It means that you can take responsibility | | | | affirmation and encouragement to get the best out of |
| for every stage on the Communication Cycle:Spoken - | | | | people. Notice when others do things well (even if it's |
| Heard - Understood - Agreed To - Acted On - | | | | part of their daily routine). This shows you're being |
| Implemented.Be aware of where you or others tend to | | | | attentive; most people respond well when they know |
| fall off the cycle.What can get in the way of Effective | | | | that others are aware of what they do.Quite simply, |
| CommunicationHere are some Common Barriers to | | | | the workplace can be a far better place to be if you |
| Effective Communication.We all make Too Many | | | | consciously sprinkle your communication with positive |
| AssumptionsBe aware of the assumptions you make, | | | | feedback.The Importance of Basic Communication |
| especially making something up and then acting as | | | | SkillsWhat's most important is that you don't leave the |
| though what you made up was true. Notice if you alter | | | | business of communication to chance. Raise your |
| your behaviour with certain people because of the | | | | awareness, develop your skills and you'll be a role |
| assumptions you make about them. Also be aware of | | | | model for effective communication. |